panicking, AGAIN.

exam's is on the 26th.
10 more days.

i don't know how well i am preparing me for it.
good thing, i have read all the notes at least once, and am on my way of finishing 2nd-time reading.
bad thing, i can't study in my room at vista b at all!!! i need to be out. library, mcd or starbucks.
this is mad.

after this summative, i promise to enjoy myself to the fullest.
i WILL go lagoon, go shopping, go skating, go eating, go swimming, go clubbing, watch movieS, and play mahjong!

bring it on, babeh!!!!

love, katherine.

hair cut.

i am always reluctant to go for hair cut, till last week, when i was back home, and mum commented on my messy and wayyyy too layered hair, i decided to take mumsie dearie's advice, to thicken, shorten and straighten my ugly-looking hair.

left: before.

right: after.
















not very good pictures to show the change, as i haven't been taking much pictures for 2 reasons.
one being the pimply face, thanks to my disastrous stupidity of trying on new face product with the hope of better skin when i don't really need it.
secondly, the lack of must-take-as-many-picture-as-possible-whenever-and-whenever mood, since there hasn't been any outing with the gang, plus the exam which is coming in 2 weeks time, kills the mood inside out.

anyway, the change is pretty good! i like it. a lot. =)
actually, more than just 'like'. i am so mad in love with the new hair! love love love!

left: the messy ends.

right: the satisfactory ends, and mad straight and thick-looking hair, though lot shorter.













note: i will take more pictures of the new hair soon after the exam.

thanks mama! i love your idea!

love, katherine.

eek! uncertainty!

i think, it's all right to be not sure about things sometimes. no?
since the only certainty in life is uncertainty. no?

can i be superb optimistic, but still saintly realistic?
there are so many decisions to make, so little assurance i have. the balance is not there!
how can i ever put 'definitely' and 'certainly' in what's gonna be. grr, this is not fair.

not having control of one really important thing, makes me really insecure now.
can't be sure of where i would be twin to, it's like throwing a dice, letting the luck and fate decide where i would be. everybody, wishing me best of luck, pleaseeeee.

doing medicine at imu, is like taking a roller coaster ride. scary, yet exciting, nerve-cracking, yet comforting at times. i don't know, it's driving me a little nuts, ironically, it's teaching me how to pull myself back as well.

exam's in 2 weeks. i am panicking like an ant on hot pan. the nervousness is burning hot!

i, just came back from mcd, not for supper, but to study, with jon and shan.
have been doing late-night studies till 3 for 2 days.
still alive, miracle it is. haha.

can't wait till exam's over, and before the very next exam, i just want to be sleep well, eat well, and play well. till then, i would be one step closer, to leaving imu, and to another new start. intoxicating!

love, katherine.

chin up!

so much of cheering for the others, i need somebody to cheer for me right now.
yes, cheer for me to cheer me up, now.

all that i have wanted is to transform from:

THIS:

caption: me, who is retarded much, who knows how to eat, sleep, spend, shit, crap. thing that i could do best would be study, maybe (wait a minute, i can't even achieve oh-so-fantastic result.wtf.). as a whole, a useful person wanna-be i am for the time being.

to...

THIS:

caption: professional-looking/intelligent much? someone who is needed, someone useful, someone my parents would be so proud of, a doctor, or even better, a surgeon! someone with confidence from inside out! ahh~ how i wish i was already a doctor wearing that scrub!

from a cocoon to a butterfly! the transformation that i want so badly now.

there's a super long road ahead for me to walk down, with strength and courage, with passion and enthusiasm, with smile and tears, with family and friends.

i just have to keep reminding myself to keep moving. it's suffocating sometimes, to be stressed most of the time, nevertheless, i am still me, being as optimistic as ever, hoping for the best after every trial, despise each ends with a fall or success.

for every better tomorrow! cheers!

i end up cheering for myself. kind of cool after all, no?

well, going off to bed now as i have a dialysis center to visit tomorrow with my pbl-mates. good night.

love, katherine.

10 bucks a day!

i'm crazily hoping that saving money from today onwards, and for a year helps in making life easier when i twin to oversea, to the world.

like maybe, 1o bucks a day, katherine will have RM3650, which is around 730 pounds next year to shop hopefully and preferably at UK.

may my saving plan work and may my little dream of shopping at UK be realised.

it's said that when you strongly believe one thing, with no doubt, but determination, your wish would be granted.
i believe.

from now onwards, no money no talk! haha.

love, katherine.

sunny sunday!

gotta be in november starting tomorrow!

got back home last thursday, and came back yesterday.
be surprise at how 2 days can make a change.
i got myself some nice time, eating breakie, and had some thoughts for myself.
i was just thinking how much changes has taken place in the past 10 months.
countless.

have been talking more with my mom about where i would be in a year time, what would i be doing then, and how would i do.
growing up with more responsibilities, has not been easy, but i am glad to have my family and awesome friends beside all these while.

gonna hit 21 soon!
excited bout it but the fact of having an exam 2 days after my big day is not very cool. haha.

okay, this is pretty random, i just feel like writing something, maybe. heh.

time to get cracking! go, fight, win!

love, katherine.

something, not significant, not nothing either.

MOVE ON.
IT'S JUST A CHAPTER IN THE PAST.
BUT DON'T CLOSE THE BOOK.
JUST TURN THE PAGE.

and then i realised, i have turned so many pages, and yet, there's something, not meaningful, not meaningless either; not happy, not sad either; not nothing, but, there's no relief and utmost happiness.

next page, perhaps?

p.s. i am all right, just got this thought while sitting on a roller coaster ride of emotions.

love, katherine.