^_____^

so, it's true that if you keep your faith strong, believing in your belief, standing firm for yourself,

you eventually get yourself to right where you should be.

caught a silver lining. that's one comfort that words can't describe. it's beautiful, there for a moment, and it left a mark forever. i, just had one amazing morning.

love, katherine.

my daddy is cute!

was talking to my dad over skype:-

daddy: so how's your classes so far?

me: daddy, there's this very nice ANG MOH who walked me home today after classes.

daddy: AIYOOOOO~~~~~~ THIS IS TERRIBLE. no more next time pls.

me *ROFL*

daddy: better behave. if not, i am not sending you money.

me: *ROFL x2!*

my teddy daddy is so kawaii.

just to be safe, i better check my account tomorrow. don't wanna starve. T.T

love, katherine.

finally.

starting clinical attachment unofficially today and officially tomorrow.

it has been a month. wow.

one big twist coming tomorrow. i have no idea of what to expect.

someone told me, no expectation equals no disappointment.

well, i don't know.

see how it goes then and fingers crossed it would be grand.

love, katherine.

i wish

to hug them all in my arms right now.

yes, not forgetting the legendary carl.

i shall call this, something awesome beyond love.

love, katherine.

Munching on yummy ridged potato crisps, working on portfolio, listening to Glee.

Look out of the window, it's drizzling again.

Oh dear, i miss home.

love, katherine.

food for thoughts.

Gotten across 2 articles after talking with Vonne over skype, that touched my heart, got me thinking, there's so much more in life to live. so much more that words couldn't describe.

Read:

He did it his way

By NG ZHU HANN

A young man who placed family first showed that nothing is impossible when your heart is in it.

MY best friend Terrence Phang Ying Choy was from SMK Bandar Utama, Selangor. I had known him for 12 years, since primary school. I literally grew up with him and he was like a brother to me.

Ying Choy came from a poor background. His father is a contractor and his mother, a housewife. He had two younger siblings and they live in a rented apartment.

Like most Chinese-educated students, his command of English was comparatively weaker than that of his peers. He was also an ordinary student with no special talent in sports or music.

However, Ying Choy worked twice as hard as his peers and did really well in school. He scored 6As and 1B in his UPSR, 8As in his PMR and 9A1s and 2As in his SPM.

Despite his good results he failed to secure any scholarship after Form Five. Because his father’s construction jobs are seasonal, he decided to work to supplement the family’s income and support his younger brothers, instead of furthering his studies. He did sales and marketing for his uncle’s firm, worked on a construction site and gave tuition four times a week for one full year. In fact, he was the sole breadwinner during the economic downturn in 2007.

When his father’s income became more stable as the property market picked up again, Ying Choy decided to go back to his studies. He felt manual labour was not enough to help the family.

He enrolled in Form Six, studied for about three months, then dropped out. He switched to A-levels at Tunku Abdul Rahman (TAR) College, where he got a full subsidy for his course. But he dropped out after two months.

Finally, he enrolled in Universiti Tunku Abdul Rahman for a foundation programme, which he completed. Once again, he stopped studying and went back to work for some months.

Ying Choy dropped out three times because he could not focus on his studies knowing that his siblings would be leaving school soon and needed money to further their education.

One day, he saw some Facebook pictures of his secondary school friends who were studying in London, on tour in the Swiss Alps. He wondered why others could do it while he could not. He realised it wasn’t because they were smarter but that they had better opportunities.

So he withdrew the RM17,000 he had saved from working and took a leap of faith – he signed up for an express A-levels programme that Sunway College had just introduced.

The gamble was that if he did well, he would get an offer from a good university, which would enable him to get a scholarship. He could then use the money to study and save some for his family.

After being away from books for almost one-and-a-half years, Ying Choy had to struggle to cope. Every day he attended college from 8am to 6pm; went home for dinner; gave tuition from 8 to 10pm, and then revised his lessons from 10.30pm to 12.30am. He did this for a whole year.

Early 2009, Ying Choy received offers from five top British universities: the London School of Economics, Imperial College London, Warwick University, University College London and University of Cambridge. He also got offers from Melbourne University and the National University of Singapore.

He was shocked and elated. He least expected to get a place in Cambridge, which many top Malaysian students had failed to get into, what more a boy whose pre-U studies was never exceptional.

Despite the good news, he still had to get the scholarship.

After being rejected by various companies and foundations, he finally received an offer from Sime Darby, one month before Cambridge’s acceptance deadline. Ying Choy had defied the odds to attain a place in the one of the best universities in the world.

That year, he stepped on an aeroplane for the first time in his life. It was his first trip abroad and the first time he had left home. He was the first in his family to go for tertiary education.

He promised them he would come back and life would be good after he graduated. He would take them to Europe and buy a new house so they need not have to rent.

Ying Choy spent wisely and saved substantially. Every month, he sent home a large portion of his allowance.

He did remarkably in his first year at Cambridge, scoring first class honours and was ranked 37 among the 160 engineering students in his batch. He did equally well in his second year.

In July, Ying Choy came home for the summer holidays. His family had been looking forward to his return and everyone had a good time with him back.

But life took a cruel twist on Sept 1. At 6am that morning, he had breathing difficulties and collapsed by the side of his bed.

My best friend died about six hours after I last saw him. He had looked perfectly healthy then. In fact, he was a basketball player and a gym rat.

He was buried on Sept 4. He was only 22.

A large portion of his savings – he had saved over RM50,000 for his siblings’ education – was used for the funeral expenses. His family, who are still in shock, now have to worry about their younger sons’ education even as they grieve for their eldest boy.

Ying Choy strongly believed in self-help. He was vehemently against using connections as the way to success. He was living proof that meritocracy still exists today.

I will always miss him.

____________________________________________________________________________________

and this:

A Friend Departed.

by Yvonne Lim, on 2nd September 2011

Phone rings.

Amanda Chong : Hi Yvonne. Have you seen what's on Facebook?

Me : Nope, I haven't been online much. What did I miss?

Amanda : Oh. You know Terrence? He just passed away.

Me : Terrence? Terrence who? (continues staring at the TV)

Amanda : Terrence LAH. You know...

Me : Oh wait. You mean Terrence Phang Ying Choy? The Churchill one? The one we often have dinner with?

Amanda : Yes. Him. Gone.

Me : WHAT??? (at this point the TV has been muted, if you must know.)

*pause*

Me : HOW? WHEN? WHY? GONNNEEE??!!

Amanda : Yes. This morning. Breathing difficulties aparrently. Geoffrey has more info.

Me : You sure? How can????

Amanda : I know right.

Me : Oh ok ok I'm gonna call Geoffrey now.

And that was how I got to know that you, Terrence, have left us. Just like that. It came as a shock to me as to everyone else, too much of a shock.

Immediately, your blur face came into mind. Your lanky self along with your toothy grin. Slowly it started to sink in. I have been avoiding to mention the words 'death' and 'dead' when I passed the message around, when I sought confirmation from Geoffrey. But soon it finally registered. You, Terrence Phang Ying Choy, are dead (yes, I'm cringing as I type that) and you're not coming back next Michaelmas term.

I won't go on and on about how you were. People who knew you would know that. People would think of the potential you had, being the smarty-pants hardworking Engineering student in Cambridge. But to me and all the rest of us that I've tagged in this note, your demise poses a different meaning. A gap, a void, a friend already gone.

I wish you could see this, but clearly you're not able to. I wish I had talked to you over the summer, but I didn't. I wish I was able to attend your funeral, but I wasn't able to make it. But I hope that you'd know somehow, that we will miss you; that I, though not a very close friend, will miss you.

Memories of you started flashing across my mind. You never failed to lend a helping hand when I needed help with CUMaS events (for those of you who don't know, that stands for the Cambridge University Malaysian Society). I often needed help. I called/texted you and you'd never say no. You'd always come with a keen spirit and your toothy grin. You never minded what was to be done, you'd do it and do it well. In our first year at Cambridge, we rarely saw you. In our second year, we saw more of you. You'd come for birthday dinners, formals and CUMaS events. We would often have dinner at Sue Bee's place followed by us girls comparing your dishwashing skills to that of Ryohei and then having long chats in Sue Bee's room. We'd all hang out occassionally, but it was all fun when it was just the group of us. We'd make you ask a girl out in Revs (along with Geoffrey, with stupid pick-up lines), talk about your next target. Those were the times.

Now as the word 'death' brings more weight to me than it did when I just received Amanda's call, I immediately notice the little things that will be different now that you're not around. We have one person less on the Hill, one person less to take the taxi to town and back, one person less to have around for dinner, one person less to wash the dishes, one person less to make fun off, one person less to hang out with.

One vivid image that came to my mind was this. I used to wait for you and Geoffrey at New Hall porters' lodge so that we can get a cab to town for formals. I'd complain about how you guys were always (slightly) late. You'd always blame Geoffrey (and you're right most of the time) so each time, I would get you to make sure that Geoffrey won't be late. More often than not, as I'm about to call you/Geoffrey and scream over the phone asking where the hell are the both of you, I'd see you both strolling coolly in your suits, along the walkway towards the plodge. Sometimes we'd walk instead of cab, and moan about the cold as we trek down the Hill. But from next term onwards, I'd never see you again. I'd never be able to call you and screech like a banshee while asking whether you guys are in New Hall yet; I'd never be able to see you strolling along the walkway looking apologetic at your slight lateness while darting a nervous glance at Geoffrey; I'd never get a reply when I text you to ask whether you're joining us for dinner/cab/clubbing/formals. Sue Bee, Amanda and I won't be able to make fun of you washing the dishes anymore whenever you turn around with the helpless look on your face, holding the pot and saying "Err I don't know how to wash this, you all wash can ah?". We can no longer poke fun at your stomach which is like a bottomless pit comparable to that of Geoffrey's whenever Sue Bee makes dinner (while Sue Bee and I would discuss multiple times whether the food is enough to feed you two gluttons). I could go on, but perhaps I should stop.

As my finger hovers over the delete button on my mobile phone with your name and phone number higlighted on the screen, I thought better of it. Deleting it would mean that youwere my friend. Keeping your number despite knowing that it will never be you on the other end means more. Much much more. It means that you ARE my friend and will always be.

Goodbye.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

A stranger to me, but his story, is nothing like the others. It brought not just inspirations, but strength, to encourage people to move on, to keep up with life.

Not knowing this boy, i salute him for his wisdom, his love for his family, his passion in studies despite all the obstacles. He made me realised, the true meaning behind 'where there's a will, there's a way'. Easier said than done, but he did it. i respect him for how strong he stood, with his very own strength.

Keep feeling bad over split milk? Keep feeling sorry for what did not happen? Keep wondering 'what if'? Keep holding on to what's never yours? Keep pondering on false assumption? Keep hoping for sheer miracles? Oh come on katherine, there's so much more in life. There's still so much to learn from, to explore, to experience.

To this stranger who's already gone, I thank you for your story. Your journey is one to look up to, something to remember and never to be left behind. It's a great loss to have him gone. To his family and friends, despite his absence, I bet he lives in your heart, with every single beat, he sounds.

Now, tell me if you have seen life, or are you living one?

Love, Katherine.

exactly 2 weeks.

it's amazing and scary how time flies.

settling-in can be really crazy, yet fun; challenging, yet happening.

still in the process of settling-in, it's madness.

friends from IMU, new friends, strangers, etc. etc. they have been great!

lucky to have ppl around to help out, and lucky to be here.

love, katherine.